peace love & WAR!!!

Story
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Deep in Devon you are trying to find the last troops that are still loyal to the King. With the help of the King's councillor, Lord Woolsack, and one of his knights, Sir Longarm, you will set out on an epic quest to take the country back from the clutches of the usurpers. In a series of encounters you will meet the cowardly Duc de Puce (The Rat), the conniving Duc Beauregard (The Snake), the vile Duc de Truffe (The Pig) and the enigmatic Wolf.

Each has his own favoured tactics and troops, each will fight you differently. Only if you succeed in beating them all will you restore the kingdom.

Loyal Advisors
Lord Woolsack
Sir Longarm
Enemies
Duc de Puce (The Rat)
Duc Beauregard (The Snake)
Duc de Truffe (The Pig)
Duc Volpe (The Wolf)
Others
The King
The Jester
The Black Friar

You're so ugly, your dog has to close its eyes when it humps your leg!
Q: Who made King Arthur's round table?
A: Sir Cumference!


Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler:
- Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo."* If you find yourself in Iran, do not use the word blanket head.* In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.* Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.

CHINESE TO ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS
(For English speakers travelling to China)
Dung On Mai Shu = I stepped in shit.

Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu = Let's sleep together.

Ai Bang Mai Ne = I bumped into the coffee table.

Fat Ho = An unattractive woman.

Ar U Wun Tu = A gay liberation greeting.

Chin Tu Fat = You need a face lift.

Chow Mai Dong = Blow me.

Dum Gai = A stupid person.

Wel Hung Gai = Is that a banana in your pocket?

Won Hung Low = Southern Chinese dialect for Welcome.

Gun Pao Der = An ancient Chinese invention.

Hu Flung Dung = Which one of you fertilized the field?

Hu Yu Hai Ding = We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive.

Jan Ne Ka Sun = A former late night talk show host.

Kum Hia = Approach me.

Lao Ze Sho = Gilligan's Island.

Lao Zi = Not very good.

Lin Ching = An illegal execution.

Moon Lan Ding = A great achievement of the American space program.

Ne Ahn = A lighting fixture used in advertising signs.

Shai Gai = A bashful person.

Tai Ne Bae Be = A premature infant.

Tai Ne Po Ne = A small horse.

Ten Ding Ba = Serving drinks to people.

Wan Bum Lung = A person with T.B.

Yu Mai Te Tan = Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you.

Wa Shing Kah = Cleaning an automobile.

Wai So Dim = Are you trying to save electricity?

Wai U Shao Ting = There is no reason to raise your voice.

To begin their sex-education course, a third-grade teacher tells her students to go home and ask their parents what a penis is. So little Charlie goes home and asks his father. Dropping his pants to his ankles, the father points down and says,That, son, is the perfect penis!
The next day when Charlie gets to school, his friend comes up to him and says,Charlie, I forgot to find out what a penis is. Can you help me?
Charlie takes his friend into the bathroom and has him drop his pants. Pointing to the other boy’s donger, Charlie says,There. If that were a bit smaller, it would be the perfect penis

Take Screenshot Alt & Q Takes an in game screen shot
STRONGHOLD HEAVEN....